Peekaboo in the Drive Thru

It is a well established rule, not just out my Mickey D's, but at many restaurants that we don't accept people's orders who walk through the drive thru☹. It's more of a safety thing than anything else. However, just as with all other rules, there are those who think that they don't apply to them.

This particular incident with such a person, stood out for one particular reason, and that is that they were creative with their breaking of the rules, or at least extremely entertaining.

It was 9:30 ish on a friday night, the mood was greasy, lobby was on lockdown, and all of the sudden I see two faces at my window. I turn away, roll my eyes at my manager, and proceed to tell them✘ that I cannot take their order. To no avail! Persistent little buggers. "

But all I want is a McDouble!!! I even have cash!"

"I'm sorry sir, but it's the rule and my manager is standing RIGHT THERE!" ☤

This continued through a fewℑ more rounds, and then they left... or so I thought.

Since it was late at night, we didn't have any cars, so I started doing my nightly cleaning duties. All of the sudden, a face pops up in the window☒. For a minute I didn't recognize them, and then I realized who it was. "Here we go again!" I said to my manager, and then the face in the window was gone.

By this point I was sure they were crazy☺. Before I could turn around to keep mopping, they were back. He had said something, but as it was muffled by the window, I couldn't really tell what it was that he was saying. He popped up a few more times before it dawned on me that he was literally saying "PEEKABOO!!!"

When this realization hit, I laughed until I cried☝.

Needless to say, after I went and got my manager and explained what was happening☂. We opened the window and gave them one of our extra McDouble's for free in payment for the show.

☹ I have tried going through on my bike before... they didn't like that either.

✘ I had to raise my voice because I'm not allowed to open the window to tell them this. I sounded so angry, and I didn't really mean to. It's whatever.

☤ Rolls eyes in manager's direction while pointing VERY emphatically.

ℑ Lies.

☒ Scare the ever living crap out of me. Not exactly something you want happening late at night.

☺I didn't realize how right I was just then.

☝Also lies... I was sobbing.

☂Between my sobs of laughter.

HE LIVES!!! Uhhhh... Michael Jackson's Impersonator, That Is

The Mickey D's that I have the pleasure of working at, has this strange habit of playing music (rather loudly) out in lobby. We have often debated why this is, and my favorite answer to this question is that it's to keep the homeless people from wanting to fall asleep on our benches. We have also frequently asked the owner how to turn the music off, to which we have never received an answer.

I wouldn't say it's a detestable selection of music, It's just that the playlist (or radio station) only changes its song selection about every 6 months❦, and there is something about hearing classic songs such as Barracuda by Heart, Don't Stop Me Now by Queen, and Thriller by Michael Jackson every day that slowly and painfully murders your love of them.

The thing is, when people don't work at said Mickey D's, they don't hear the songs everyday, and thus still love them dearly, as one should. This can lead to all types of renditions that are sung in (or out) of time with the original. We have also had several people lip synching, a few lyricists who think they could write the words better, and every now and then, we will get someone who is brave (or crazy) enough to dance to the music✪.

This night, was one such night. The thing was, we had been especially busy, so our lobby was just about full. In walks this very homeless looking man❤. He ordered, paid for☆, and dutifully waited for me to hand him his double cheeseburger. I gave him his requested morsel, and then grabbed a towel to wipe down my counter, as I had not had a chance to do that in over an hour, and it was needing it badly❄.

This was a good thing in two ways. It gave me a chance to rest from a strangely timed dinner rush, and it put me front and center for the first rate show that was about to begin. The next song that came on after the man sat down just so happened to be Thriller by Michael Jackson. 

Just about everyone ever loves this song, and will make some reference to the T-rex arms dance move that goes with it whenever it plays. This man, however, took the cake on performances of choreography to this song. I have seen people try and do their own renditions of the Thriller dance, but this man was fantastic. Mainly because of it's originality. The only similarity it had to the original was the T-rex arms, and that was about it.

It only took him about to the first chorus to have been noticed by every single person in the restaurant. Even the Mexicans back in grill came up to see him∝. By the second verse, he had the entire place clapping and cheering him on. He alternated between dancing around the restaurant, and playing some rocktastic air guitar. 

Sadly enough, the song came to an end, as do all good things. The thing was, he didn't even go around asking people for money after his performance. He just grabbed his half eaten burger and walked out the door, happily munching away...

¤

❦ They did have a very tasteful "Holiday" playlist for the month of December! I was surprised to hear songs by Nat King Cole, Billie Holiday, and other such great artists that did songs other than "It's beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas!" (Which would have made me want to kick homeless people sleeping in our benches, because the loud music seems to not effect them).

✪ I myself have been included in this category several times. What can I say? You have to keep a boring work day exciting SOMEHOW!!!

❤ Or as Glee calls them, "Urban campers," that,  "smell like adventure!"

☆ In all pennies and nickels, I might add. This job has made me extremely efficient at counting and sorting money. This is also how you tell who the true homeless people are. The fakers pull twenties out of wallets. This guy pulled his change out of a beat up coffee cup.

❄ I would have loved to take a breather, but as my boss always says, "if you have time to lean, you have time to clean."

∝ There is one Guatemalan lady, but we generally refer to the entire group as "The Mexicans." It's probably terribly politically incorrect, but they've never said anything.

¤ One lady thanked me for the dinner AND the show. We also were really tempted to ask the owner if we could pull the tapes and send them into America's Funniest Home Videos, but then realized that it was too much effort, as we would have to do some editing because he danced around the entire restaurant, and probably in and out of several camera's views.

Big Pimpin Aint Easy

So there is this thing about Mickey D's being so cheap/widely known/loved/etc. that attracts all kinds of folks to my counter and drive through. I've had everything from a Maserati* to a Yugo pull up.

One of the new favorites to come my way, was this old beater of a Buick that pulled through drive through. It was old, brown, and looked like the bottom was about to rust out. So this wonderful car pulled up to the menu, and the driver shouted his order of $10 worth of dollar menu items over the racket of his engine☠.

So after that whole miniature ordeal of trying to figure out whether or not I had heard the man correctly, he pulled around to the first window so I could take his money. To add to what I gathered from the camera, the windows were also darkly tinted, there were spinners to be had, and there was loud music emanating from the car☢. By this time I knew this was going to be good.

Then came the big reveal. The moment the window rolls down and you get to face the person you are probably going to openly mock over the headset later. I was just expecting a low, wide brim sports hat, and some gaudy jewelry, but what was I met with??? A full on, polyester pimp suit, THAT'S WHAT!!! The thing was, it didn't even look like a real pimp suit. I'm pretty sure this guy was wearing a Halloween costume. Does he have no shame???

Turns out, the man has no shame. What did he try and do next? Sell me weed. Yup. The man tried to sell me weed, in the drive through, while the owner was definitely in the office ten feet away doing some kind of paperwork/semi-important thing. When I told him no I didn't have any money for that☃, he proceeded to tell me to take some money out of the my drawer to pay for it. When I told him that this was not possible, he told me that it was such a sorry state for me to be in, as the marijuana which he was peddling was some of the best known to man✈.  He then drove on to second window, to get his obnoxiously large dollar menu order, and be on his merry way.

All in all, one of the silliest exchanges I have had with a customer. I hope that some day, this man will rise through his drug induced stupor, and realize that he made someone laugh harder than they had all month, and for that I thank him.

*It was blue and wonderfully gorgeous. I was quite envious.
☠It sounded like there was a very angry dwarf trying to beat its way out with a frying pan.
☢Making the old car sound like a pulsating swarm of bees had joined the aforementioned dwarf, probably making him even angrier... poor dwarf.
☃I had previously tried the approach, in other such situations, of telling them that I didn't smoke. To which I always get the reply of being called a cat, or some other form of demeaning term that means I'm not manly because I don't smoke pot.
✈All of this is censored for the kids, of course. The language that was used by this man was much more colorful. I promise.