Big Pimpin Aint Easy

So there is this thing about Mickey D's being so cheap/widely known/loved/etc. that attracts all kinds of folks to my counter and drive through. I've had everything from a Maserati* to a Yugo pull up.

One of the new favorites to come my way, was this old beater of a Buick that pulled through drive through. It was old, brown, and looked like the bottom was about to rust out. So this wonderful car pulled up to the menu, and the driver shouted his order of $10 worth of dollar menu items over the racket of his engine☠.

So after that whole miniature ordeal of trying to figure out whether or not I had heard the man correctly, he pulled around to the first window so I could take his money. To add to what I gathered from the camera, the windows were also darkly tinted, there were spinners to be had, and there was loud music emanating from the car☢. By this time I knew this was going to be good.

Then came the big reveal. The moment the window rolls down and you get to face the person you are probably going to openly mock over the headset later. I was just expecting a low, wide brim sports hat, and some gaudy jewelry, but what was I met with??? A full on, polyester pimp suit, THAT'S WHAT!!! The thing was, it didn't even look like a real pimp suit. I'm pretty sure this guy was wearing a Halloween costume. Does he have no shame???

Turns out, the man has no shame. What did he try and do next? Sell me weed. Yup. The man tried to sell me weed, in the drive through, while the owner was definitely in the office ten feet away doing some kind of paperwork/semi-important thing. When I told him no I didn't have any money for that☃, he proceeded to tell me to take some money out of the my drawer to pay for it. When I told him that this was not possible, he told me that it was such a sorry state for me to be in, as the marijuana which he was peddling was some of the best known to man✈.  He then drove on to second window, to get his obnoxiously large dollar menu order, and be on his merry way.

All in all, one of the silliest exchanges I have had with a customer. I hope that some day, this man will rise through his drug induced stupor, and realize that he made someone laugh harder than they had all month, and for that I thank him.

*It was blue and wonderfully gorgeous. I was quite envious.
☠It sounded like there was a very angry dwarf trying to beat its way out with a frying pan.
☢Making the old car sound like a pulsating swarm of bees had joined the aforementioned dwarf, probably making him even angrier... poor dwarf.
☃I had previously tried the approach, in other such situations, of telling them that I didn't smoke. To which I always get the reply of being called a cat, or some other form of demeaning term that means I'm not manly because I don't smoke pot.
✈All of this is censored for the kids, of course. The language that was used by this man was much more colorful. I promise.